Lessons In Loss

         
When I was 18 years old I had my first break up. It wasn’t particularly bad as far as break-ups go; I had seen it coming in advance, so I was prepared. What I wasn’t prepared for was the morning after. I remember waking up and I could hear my mother talking to some friend over the phone about how, “he’ll find a nice girl at college.” I laid there for a while thinking about what had happened to me the day prior and what it meant, and after a couple minutes I asked myself, “Do I want to get out of bed and start the day?”
          Honestly, I didn’t want to. Now I’m not quite sure why, but I think at the time it just didn’t seem worth it. It didn’t seem like there was any way that day could be a good day. I thought, “I just want to sulk in bed.” After a couple minutes though, I accepted reality; my relationship was over, but I needed to move on with life. I got up out of bed. I’ve had other days like this, and some of them were much worse. I got up every time though, and life has invariable continued.
So now you may be saying, “Reed I’m sorry for your troubles, but what the hell does this have to do with Doctor Who?” Well, Doctor Who has its own type of break-up every time a companion leaves, and I think those first few moments afterwards, as the Doctor considers what just happened, are an opportunity for us to empathize with the Doctor and to evaluate our own reactions to similar situations.
          The best example I can think of is the Doctor’s reaction after Clara leaves in ‘Hell Bent’.  Having had Clara wiped from his memory, all he could remember was that Clara was his best friend and that they’d had some great adventures together. In the final scene, the Doctor realizes that the girl he’d been talking to was in fact Clara, but she took off, never to be seen again. So, he walks in to the TARDIS, and he has to make a decision: does he stay an
d mourn Clara in his TARDIS, or does he move on to the next adventure? Does he stay in bed and sulk, or does he get up?
          As he walks through the TARDIS, we start to hear the music. He sees Clara’s final message: run you clever boy, and be a good doctor. He puts on his suit jacket. The TARDIS gives him a new sonic. He snaps his fingers and the TARDIS doors shut; that part of his life is closed. He never smiles during any of this. He doesn’t want to move on, but he accepts that he has too. He starts up the console and heads off to his next, unknown destination.
          Of course, The Doctor doesn’t always have an immediate recovery. When Amy and Rory left the Doctor did in fact sulk, and instead of doing so for a day he probably sulked for years. He eventually got up though. He bumped in to this interesting bar maid and found someone else worth helping.

          In moments like this, there’s a lot that Doctor Who can teach us.   The Doctor has suffered innumerable losses in his lifetime and they take their toll, but he keeps trucking on. He hasn’t forgotten his goodbyes just like we don’t forget ours; rather, he’s accepted that he needs to move on. It’s a good reminder that we don’t need to forget, but we do need to move on.